Best away from judgement

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

Growing up, I often heard the phrase, “First impressions last a lifetime.” For years, I believed it. I played along, trying to present a version of myself I thought people would admire. But as I got older, I realized how exhausting and hollow it felt to live in someone else’s narrative of who I should be.

People are quick to judge — whether it’s my silence in a conversation or the way I prefer not to entertain small talk. Many times, these judgments hurt. I’ve been labeled aloof, unfriendly, or even arrogant by people who barely know me. My words, when I do speak, are often misunderstood or twisted, leaving me questioning whether it’s better to remain silent altogether.

The hardest part is when the assumptions come from those closest to you. Working circles, for instance, sometimes says things that feel more like accusations than observations. It’s not just the words; it’s the way they stick with you, echoing in your mind long after the conversation is over.

Even distant relatives or unknown  people — people I barely interact with — seem to have an endless reservoir of opinions about my choices, my lifestyle, and even my intentions.

For a long time, I let these voices drown out my own. I stopped trying to explain myself. I stopped fighting back. I figured, why waste energy on people who have already decided who I am? But in choosing silence, I also felt the sting of isolation. It’s a strange paradox: the quieter I became, the more misunderstood I felt.

Then one day, I asked myself a simple question: Why do I care so much?

The truth was hard to admit. I cared because I wanted to be liked, to be accepted, to be understood. But in chasing that validation, I was losing touch with who I really was. So, I made a decision. I would stop trying to correct people’s assumptions about me. Instead, I’d focus on living in a way that felt authentic, regardless of what others thought.

This shift wasn’t easy. It still isn’t. There are days when the judgments sting more than they should, especially from family. But I remind myself that their words don’t define me. My actions, my choices, and my values do.

Breaking free from the weight of others’ opinions has been liberating. It’s allowed me to explore parts of myself I had suppressed for years. I’ve found joy in silence, not as a defense mechanism, but as a space to reflect and grow. I’ve embraced hobbies like beadwork and garland-making, not to impress anyone, but because they bring me peace.

Most importantly, I’ve learned that not everyone needs to understand you — and that’s okay.

For anyone who feels trapped by the judgments of others, I’d say this: Let them think what they want. The only story that matters is the one you write for yourself.