Thinking.

I’ve stopped worrying about the future. It’s unwritten—just an open canvas waiting for me to take that first stroke. Instead of overthinking, I’ve learned to focus on the single thought that arises in the present moment. If an idea sparks within me, I act on it immediately, no matter how daunting the task seems. My only tools are prayer, chanting, and unwavering faith. And in that moment of surrender, the answer comes to me—clear, simple, and undeniable.

The past? It’s a closed chapter. Even if I wanted to revisit it, nothing can be rewritten there. Yet, it doesn’t always stay silent.

Memories have a way of creeping back, no matter how tightly I shut the door on them. Unfinished business whispers at the edges of my mind, pulling me into a storm I thought I had escaped. This morning was no different. As I worked, a strange ritual unfolded—RN, from the other side of the room, stood with a camphor fire in hand, performing the arathi to my face, moving it anti-clockwise. Her eyes held a quiet intensity, as if she was casting me out, erasing me from her world. I tried to dismiss it, but then came gkj, puffing on his cigarette, his gaze piercing through the haze. Were they conspiring? Was this just a coincidence, or something far more sinister? The air grew heavy with unanswered questions, and a chilling realization gripped me: this was no ordinary morning. Something was unfolding, and I was at the center of it.

To top this scenario, I did my best not to think about it as I must at all cause find a way to heal. The Hawaiian Hoʻoponopono mantra has become my guide: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.” These words are my balm, soothing the aches of regret and releasing me from the chains of the past. Each time I recite them, I feel lighter, as if a burden has been lifted.

And so, I move forward—not bound by yesterday or tethered to tomorrow, but living fully in the now. The present moment holds all the answers I need, and with faith, devotion, and commitment, I create my future step by step.

Do I think more about the past or the future?
Honestly, I used to dwell on both—regrets of the past and fears of the future. But now, I’ve realized that neither serves me. The past is unchangeable, and the future is malleable only by what I do today. So I focus on the present moment  because it’s the only moment I truly own.