The Inner Deity

If you could be a character from a book or film, who would you be? Why?

Today’s Quote: “Be alert and never back down.”

This morning felt heavy. I imagined red chili powder scattered along my path—sharp, stinging, and draining every ounce of energy from me. The sensation was so vivid, it felt as if something was physically trying to knock me down. I told myself not to listen to the demonic, delusional trickster aura swirling around me.

I made a firm decision: no meditation today. Not because I’m giving up, but because I sense it’s drawing in negative energy I’m not ready to process. That’s why I feel stuck in this limbo, unable to move forward. The only way out is to stop fueling the cycle. I must let go of these heavy emotions that keep me frozen. I know now—I can break free from this illusion by releasing my anger. Instead of reacting, I resist differently: I go still, blank out the emotions, and walk through the storm like a hero.

I paused and asked myself: how many times have I felt this way? How many mornings like this have I survived? And yet, I’m still here—standing, moving, breathing. I’ve been in this battle before and I’ve always found a way out.

Temptation often returns disguised as familiar pain. But now I recognize it. I resist it with my psychic affirmations—quietly, constantly—until the storm within begins to soften.

Then a childhood memory returned like a wave. I remembered the times I stood between my parents during their violent fights. I was just a child, but I couldn’t bear to see it happen. My father would cry false tears, shout accusations, and spin cruel stories he crafted with his manipulative sister. Lies soaked in greed, built on the money he gave away freely—while we paid the price.

I stood between them—yelling, crying, shaking—but I never backed down. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to protect my younger siblings from those horrors. I didn’t want their childhoods to mirror mine, filled with fear and confusion. But deep down, I knew I carried those scars.

Still, those scars became my strength. They forged alertness in me. They taught me never to back down. What I experienced became the foundation of the resilience I carry now.

This is not just a mantra—“Be alert and never back down”—it’s a sacred vow I live by. It’s the resilience I’ve built from chaos, the courage grown from fear, and the awareness cultivated through silence. Since childhood, trauma trained me to be alert. But it also shaped me into someone who refuses to break.

Even when the days feel like burning chili powder on my skin—I walk. I write. I reflect. I heal. And I keep moving forward.

Book Summary (for intro chapter or back cover):

The Inner Deity is the powerful voice within—a divine force that rises above trauma, navigating the scars of childhood wounds and adult battles. Through deep self-awareness, forgiveness, and inner rituals, she learns to stop feeding the cycle of self-destruction. Guided by psychic affirmations, prayer, and her sister’s belief in her healing journey, she embraces the strength she was born with.

She believes she came into this life with 42 detrimental ties to resolve—an ancestral, emotional burden. Her brother doubted she could break free from them. Her sister, however, placed her faith in the power of transformation, believing every wound could be healed. This isn’t about proving a bet; it’s about proving what is possible. One tie at a time, she unravels each knot through relentless inner work, letting go, and reclaiming the life she deserves.