Living From Unconscious to Conscious

What details of your life could you pay more attention to?

There was a time when I moved through life without noticing the details. I lived more unconsciously, rushing through chores, ignoring myself, and not paying attention to what truly mattered. Even something as simple as washing the dishes could throw me off balance. But then I discovered that if I paused, even for just two minutes, and practiced inner engineering, I could shift my state of mind. Sometimes I had to repeat it over and over again, but eventually, I found myself slipping into a space of ease. Hours would pass, and I would realize: I was finally living consciously.

Driving became another teacher. What began as a routine of ferrying people turned into a meditation of observation. I loved seeing unknown places, the way the sunlight painted the sky in changing colors, and even the small beauty of plants growing along the road dividers. At traffic lights, I noticed birds fluttering to feed their young, a whole life unfolding in front of me while I waited. These were not just moments of waiting anymore — they became moments of living.

But then there were reminders too. My mother often told me about grooming, insisting that there are places in this world that won’t welcome someone who looks messy. For years, I ignored her. I realize now why I resisted. Long ago, in an interview, a man told me that his company only accepted “high groomers,” not basic ones like me. I froze. I also noticed these interviewers always placed women under their feet and women were placed down because of their faith, background and environment.  I wanted to tell him that his spectacles were part of his grooming too, that everyone carries something imperfect, but the words never left my lips. That silence stayed with me. It made me resist grooming, as if rejecting it could protect me from the shame of that moment.

Now, looking back, I know that was a turning point. If I had trusted myself then, I could have spoken up — politely but firmly — to defend my dignity. I see now that living consciously means not only noticing the beauty of the world but also standing up for myself with both heart and mind.

Today, I notice the red strands of my hair, the way fibers shine in the light, and I marvel at it. These small details remind me that I am not unconscious anymore. I am learning to pay attention, to groom myself not for others, but for my own self-respect.

Conscious living, for me, is about catching the unnoticed moments — the dish that needs washing, the breath I take, the way the sky shifts its colors, the words I choose to speak or not speak. Every detail becomes a chance to live more fully, more awake, and more true to myself.