No more stuckness

“Let a man lift himself by himself;

let him not debase himself.
For the Self alone is the friend of the self,
and the Self alone is the enemy of the self.”
Bhagavad Gita 6:5

For years, she carried her past like a shadow that refused to loosen its grip.
No matter how many kriyas she practiced, how many nights she chanted, or how much she prayed, the old memories floated behind her like smoke that refused to clear.
The nights were the hardest—those heavy hours when the mind was too tired to stay strong, yet too restless to fall silent.

She whispered to herself in frustration:

“Why can’t I come out of this quickly?
Why does the past still drain me?”

She had tried everything:
walking away from painful relationships, dissolving old ties, imagining old energies turning to dust, practicing Isha sadhanas with intensity, planning to go to Kaishi, and searching for the reason behind the “hex-like” heaviness she felt on her body.

But no matter how much she worked on herself, it still followed.

One night, after practice, she sat in stillness.
Her breath trembled.
Her mind raced.
Her heart felt tired.

And then, from somewhere deep within, a quiet voice emerged
not mystical, not dramatic, but clear like the steady flame of a lamp:

“You are trying to erase the past instead of creating the present.”

She froze.

Those words struck the root of her suffering.
She suddenly saw that she had been using all her energy to run from what had already happened, instead of building what could happen now.
She had been fighting shadows… while forgetting to light her own inner lamp.

The voice continued:

“Your past clings to you only because your present is not yet strong enough.
Stop resisting.
Start building.”

For the first time, she didn’t argue with herself.
She didn’t search for a reason, a cause, or a culprit.
She simply breathed and observed the truth inside her.

She understood that the “hex” she feared was an outside force
it was the weight of exhaustion, fear, and memory looping inside her mind.
A knot formed long ago that she had never paused to unwind.

So she made a new decision
not to fight the past, but to grow beyond it.

Every day, she would do just one thing that belonged to her new life:

✔ Sit with her spine straight.
✔ Make one small garland.
✔ Write a few lines.
✔ Chant gently.
✔ Clean a corner.
✔ Walk a little.
✔ Breathe softer.
✔ Think kinder thoughts.

These small acts were seeds of a new identity.
Slowly, the roots grew.
Her mornings grew lighter.
Her nights less restless.
The past began losing its teeth, its claws, its presence.

Not because she defeated it
but because she became someone it could no longer reach.

One evening, she looked at her reflection in the window.
This time, there was no fear, no heaviness.
Only quiet strength.

She had not escaped the past.
She had outgrown it.

“Whenever unrighteousness rises within,

the light of awareness must arise to restore balance.”
Bhagavad Gita