Good judge and Openness

Are you a good judge of character?

“You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action.”
— Bhagavad Gita 2.47

I was never trained to judge people. I met them as they came words first, faces second, intentions last. I listened without armor. I saw people not as types or threats, but simply as they were in that moment. Some spoke beautifully. Their confidence sounded like truth, their charm felt like wisdom. I stood on the fence, believing neutrality was safe.
Time proved otherwise.

Again and again, I learned that eloquence is not integrity, and clarity of speech is not clarity of heart. I was not betrayed because I trusted too much I was betrayed because I never paused to observe patterns. Still, I did not grow bitter. I told myself, whatever happens, happens. I survived. I moved on.

But endurance is not the same as discernment.

Slowly, quietly, I realized that seeing people “as they are” also means seeing what they consistently do, not just what they say. I did not need to label them as good or bad. I only needed to choose distance or closeness with awareness. The fence was never meant to be my home only a place to observe before stepping back.

In learning this, I did not lose my openness. I refined it.
“The one endowed with discernment knows the path of action and renunciation, what should be done and what should not be done.”
— Bhagavad Gita 18.30