Saving Myself from Family Politics

“You have a right to perform your duty, but not to the fruits of action.
Do not be attached to the results, nor fall into inaction.”
— Bhagavad Gita 2.47

Family politics shaped my understanding of life long before I understood the world outside my home.
I grew up between two contrasting family paths. On my mother’s side, there was prayer, patience, and faith in inner discipline, a belief that steady spiritual practice leads toward peace and moksha. On my father’s side, there was competition, comparison, and survival thinking, where people pulled each other down instead of growing together.
My father’s dementia became my greatest teacher. His inability to recognize me is painful, yet it revealed a deep truth: interfering in another person’s karma only multiplies suffering. Compassion does not require entanglement. Love does not mean losing oneself.
Over time, my view of family politics changed. Strength, I learned, is not confrontation, it is withdrawal from chaos and return to discipline. Silence became wisdom. Distance became protection. Spiritual practice became my refuge.
During my Margazhi sadhana, this lesson became physical. One night, an ammonia-like smell disrupted my sleep and unsettled my body, preventing me from rising for early practice. Instead of reacting with fear or blame, I learned to listen: the body is part of sadhana too. Awareness, grounding, and care for one’s environment are as important as devotion.
Letting go of unhealthy family dynamics followed the same principle. Walking away was not rejection, it was clarity. I stopped explaining myself to those committed to misunderstanding me and redirected my energy toward healing.
Today, my politics, family or otherwise are simple:
discipline over drama, practice over projection, and healing over history.
Saving myself did not require changing anyone else. It required choosing where my energy belongs.
“Lift yourself by your own self; do not degrade yourself.
The self alone is your friend, and the self alone is your enemy.”
— Bhagavad Gita 6.5