Don’t irrated anyone

What is your mission?

My mission feels almost impossible: not to irritate anyone.

This picture is of my dear father in his coffin. I am learning to create acceptance within myself. He has already gone to his final place of rest. I am not overwhelmed by sadness over his passing. His loss now lives quietly within me; he has become a part of who I am.
I do not feel the need to grieve deeply, because he lived his life in the way he knew how. He lived on his own terms, even when those terms were shaped by family expectations. That was his journey.

After retirement, his life became very simple. He had very few friends, and over time, contact with relatives faded. His days followed a familiar rhythm. Every morning, he went to a restaurant for ginger tea and tosai. Then he returned home to read the newspaper and carefully cut out articles that interested him. He kept these cuttings neatly in clear plastic bags, filed and collected.

Later, he spent time in the garden. He loved gardening barefoot—sitting close to the earth, gently pulling out weeds and leaving them nearby. My mother would often ask him to keep the garden neat. He would then quietly expect someone else to bag the weeds and dispose of them. Afterward, he would walk into the house barefoot, sometimes leaving traces of sand on the floor. This often caused tension, and I would get into trouble with my mother and sister. He would smile faintly, almost playfully, as if aware of the situation, but never confrontational.

One day, while visiting his sister in Singapore, the decision was made for him to stay in a nursing home. He lived there from May 2024 until the morning he passed away.

I remember a time when I was struggling with a problem. Instead of explaining the solution, he gave me a book. He expected me to read, reflect, and find the answer on my own. He rarely offered immediate solutions. Perhaps that was his way of teaching me that answers come through patience, prayer, and self-reflection.

Now, during these final moments, I am doing my best to remain calm and useful. I helped my sister-in-law by cutting flower buds. I am in charge of keeping the incense burning and refilling the oil lamps so the flame does not go out. I am doing everything I can to be present, respectful, and not irritate anyone.

This is my quiet way of acceptance.