five experiment

List five things you do for fun.

“He who is not shaken by fear, who is free from attachment, anger, and desire, is dear to Me.” — Bhagavad Gita 12.15

I treat my life as five experiments I do for fun — not for entertainment, but for awareness.

First Experiment: Living With the Stare

One of the hardest things I practice is not irritating my family.
My brother used to stare at me silently. That stare alone was enough to make me angry. No words were needed. Just the stare.
Recently, something changed.
I stopped believing that a stare could control my emotions.
Now when he stares, I pretend not to notice. I look away. I stay calm.
The “super stare” has almost disappeared.
I believe this shift came from the Isha practices.
When reaction stopped, the game ended.

Second Experiment: Guarding the Mind

Negative activity often tries to pull me away from my purpose.
The mind keeps creating scenes — arguments, threats, fears.
I began telling my mind repeatedly:
Do not create.
Sometimes the mind becomes completely blank.
Nothingness appears.
No images. No stories.
Controlling the mind feels endless, but I continue.
This experiment is about staying aligned even when the mind resists.

Third Experiment: Stillness in the Presence of the Unseen

Two days ago, the doorbell rang three times.
My mother and I both heard it.
When we checked the CCTV playback, there was nobody outside.
Later, as I sat quietly, I sensed a presence enter the house and listen intensely.
I felt a hit below my left ankle.
It sat beside me.
When a Shiva Peruman song began playing, I pointed my finger at the song and sang along, even though I cannot sing well.
The presence listened closely.

That same day, my siblings were on WhatsApp Web discussing the booklet they had created for my father’s demise.
As the call ended, I distinctly saw an image of Xandra’s mother appear on my sister’s laptop screen — then disappear.

At night, during my Isha practice, I sensed the presence again.
A cold wave touched my right neck.
Then a strong heat held my left wrist.
I did not respond.
I did not move.
I sat like stone — unblinking, unmoving.
I remained until nothing could affect me anymore.
Then it left.

Fourth Experiment: Conscious Timing

I wake up earlier than everyone in the house.
I follow Brahmamuhurta timing.
I practice kriyas to sharpen awareness.
To know what is happening now — not imagined, not remembered.
Sometimes music seems to play without any device —
like Panchi Malar Muruga playing in my left ear.
I do not chase it.
I remain focused.
Consciousness is my only discipline.

Fifth Experiment: Release, Collection, and Offering

On the final day of my father’s rites, I prayed for something very specific that none of my father’s relatives would come.

I knew their respect was only performance.Their words were polished, but their hearts were not with us.

I did not want pretenders around grief. I chose release.I kept them only as memory, not as presence.From that silence, I began collecting.Not people but moments, observations, inner battles, awakenings.

Each experience became a page.Each wound became a sentence.Each experiment became a chapter.The book was not written to convince anyone.It was written as an offering —to those who recognize themselves without introduction.

I promote it quietly, without force.Whoever needs it will find it.Whoever doesn’t will pass by.

This, too, is an experiment to release attachment to approval,to let the work stand on its own truth.

I continue to collect not fame, not validation only clarity.And I move forward,lighter,cleaner,with fewer tiesand sharper vision.