Don’t Mock My Joy

Don’t make fun of me.
Not when I call this struggle my joy.
Don’t waste my time
When I’m burning to do.
What my soul so badly desires.

I am tearing through time
My own time
Like a thief in daylight,
Using force just to decide,
To move,
To act.

And yet
I surrender too easily
To the noise,
To the force
Of others’ wills,
Of others’ plans.

I don’t want to hear
Their experience,
Their tired advice
Wrapped in bitterness.
They’ve killed the spark,
The invitation to dance
With joyful people
Doing joyful work.

Now I stand at the gate,
Still longing,
Still burning,
But afraid.
Afraid to resist,
Afraid to move,
Afraid to fail
But more afraid
To lose myself again.