Admiration and self reflection

List the people you admire and look to for advice…

The Bhagavad Gita begins with a moment of deep confusion: “Now I am confused about my duty and have lost all composure because of weakness.”

I once believed that looking outward would give me clarity. I searched for people to admire, voices to follow, and guidance to anchor myself. Advice came from many directions—some of it sounded wise at first, but when it unfolded, it backfired.

What seemed like direction turned into confusion. It made me question whether admiration itself had any real value.Over time, I noticed something deeper: the more I leaned on others, the more I felt pulled away from myself.

Every opinion, every influence carried its own weight—sometimes heavy, sometimes negative. It began to feel like standing in a gust of wind that never stopped, filled with thoughts that didn’t feel entirely my own.

So I turned inward.When negative thoughts appeared, I didn’t run from them anymore. I questioned them. I examined each one carefully: Is this truly mine? Or is it something I absorbed from outside? That process became my discipline.

Not rejecting thought—but understanding it. Not fearing the mind—but observing it.In that quiet inquiry, something changed. The noise began to separate from the truth.

I realized that clarity doesn’t come from chasing voices, but from seeing through them.Admiration faded. Comparison faded. Even the need to seek constant advice faded.What remained was simple: the reflection in the mirror.Not as ego, not as isolation—but as responsibility.

If I must live this life, then I must also understand my own mind without distortion. There is no point in admiring others if it distances me from myself.

“My illusion is now gone. I am firm, free from doubt, and ready to act according to my understanding.”

That is the journey.Not from ignorance to imitation—but from confusion to inner clarity.

In the end, I no longer look outward for someone to admire.

I look inward—not to judge, but to understand. And in that understanding, there is stillness, independent and clarity.