What’s one thing you wish you had started doing earlier in life?
I wish I had practised Isha practices more intensely than ever.
At first, I thought ignorance was peaceful. If I didn’t look within, I didn’t have to see the wounds, fears and patterns hiding inside me. But recently, as I began practising more intensely and turning inward, many unhealed wounds started coming to the surface.
It felt like a living hell.
For a moment, I even wished I could return to the comfortable world of ignorance.
But awareness doesn’t always arrive gently.
The more intensely I practised, the more clearly I began to see what was happening within me.
Things I had once accepted as normal suddenly became visible. Even the nightmares I experienced about dying in car accidents no longer felt like simple dreams to me.
They revealed how much fear could occupy my mind and influence the way I experienced life.
I cannot control everything that happens around me. I cannot control how other people drive. I cannot control what someone else thinks, says or does.
But I can become more conscious of how I drive. I continue driving, but with greater awareness. I follow safety more carefully. I pay attention to my surroundings.
I don’t need to believe that some mysterious force called luck is controlling my life.
Perhaps “luck” is simply a word people created for things they don’t understand.
What I can actually work with is what is within my circle of responsibility: my actions, my awareness, my choices and the way I respond to what happens.
The Bhagavad Gita begins with a battlefield, with confusion and uncertainty:
“Dharmakshetre Kurukshetre…”
“On the field of dharma, on the field of Kurukshetra…”
— Bhagavad Gita 1.1
Arjuna’s real battle is not merely outside him. His confusion begins within.
And perhaps that is what I am learning too.
When I turn inward, I don’t always find peace immediately. Sometimes I find everything I had avoided.
Awareness gives me the possibility of seeing it instead of being unconsciously driven by it.
I don’t need to give a damn about everything happening outside my circle. I don’t need to carry every person’s problem, opinion or behaviour inside my head.
Living joyfully within myself is enough.
My responsibility is to remain aware, act consciously and keep myself safe while moving through life.
The Gita ends with Arjuna’s clarity returning:
“Nashto mohah smritir labdha…”
“My delusion is destroyed; I have regained my memory. I stand firm, free from doubt, and will act according to Your word.”
— Bhagavad Gita 18.73
Perhaps that is what inner practice is ultimately teaching me:
Not to escape life, but to become conscious enough to live it.
I don’t need luck.
I need awareness.
I kept the driving section grounded in personal responsibility and safety, rather than treating the nightmares as evidence of an outside force controlling you.
Leave a comment